Written by N.S. Dezelich | June 20, 2018 | All Rights Reserved
Somehow, I made it here. You colored me ugly like stone-cold gray blaring against my black Caviar silhouette. You knew when and how to get me, awhile, painting a washed-out blue sky, overhead. Depression kept arising with rales of thunder striking in. The brain became this fragile piece, apart from everything else I couldn’t control. It took over me. I remotely gave in over and over again. I was stuck in a musk of silence for a while. After all, my reflection slowly began to reappear out of the misty fog.
Looking back at my reflection, I saw the scars that once bled for help, in hopes that I would be saved. Flashes projecting off the pupils that once knew of my hurt. Those memories were now becoming obscured and blurred. I was now getting closer to the healing process where pain no longer seeped in my heart. It faded. Better yet, I was becoming anew. Waving the “old me” goodbye. The hurt, the pain, the cries, along with the rain, had relinquished far from my bones.
“I saw a sparkle at the end of the tunnel.” I saw lambent light ahead undulating my way. My mind no longer was imprisoned by sorrow. Instead, it was enlightened. I left the past behind, overlooking all my flaws. Yesterday is dead and tomorrow no one ever knows. Meanwhile, present times takes on the responsibility towards the actions we ought to sow. I now aspire to speak of peace, to speak of love, and to act with love which lives in peace. On the outside looking in, my pavement was no longer rugged, but cobblestoned; my skies were no longer washed out, but filled with strident glows.
“Ask me how I made it.”
There’s no lovely place other than in the mind. I had to hone myself from self awareness for personal growth. I no longer was ashamed to seek help. I cut all ties of ignorance and began helping myself. Pointed out the problems. Wrote them down and planned to fix them. It wasn’t easy and trust me, I can testify to that. But, quitting won’t help neither. I weighed the options, realizing that climbing out of the rut will be worth a try rather than surrendering to misery and forever excusing myself to pity. My old mindset was being fueled by the hurt and pain, as oppose to my present time–where resentment no longer co-existed. Time is standing still, while I arise to beautiful mornings that now begin to bloom.
“I hope you find a lovely place in your mind.” ♥️